i remember that i sent a post in this blog about my aimes in 2009
here u go the draft ...
Recently I saw an episode of one of ma favorite cartoon shows ever... little maroco
She was making a list of things that she's willing to do in the New Year and I said to myself "why the hell?!"
After that I initiated to write a letter for miss 2009 and brought you a draft.
Dear miss new year I was so glad when I knew that you are coming and I wrote a couple things that I want to do during you :
1- I am willing to get closer to god.
2- I want to get my driving license and a car, too.
3- I want to improve my weak fallen apart English.
4- I want to believe that '' talking without thinking is shouting without aiming''.
5- I want to stop cursing people and to reduce saying '' bit** " to who ever upsets me and " sh** "when I get mad.
6- I should take more care abut myself, clothes etc... And try as I can not to get dirty by colors while I draw.
7- I must learn French.
8- I want a girlfriend, P.S: I am available ladies: P.
9- I want to increase my weight to built muscles unlike last time when all the weight went to my hips.
10- I want to concentrate more in my study... no more playing >_<.
11- No more hiding I am going to be active and I want to be more connected with my society... Make more friends… am I?
12- I hope to be able to see all the great series and movies and to use a great internet connection.
13- I want to save money otherwise I will be in a new level of the word '' poor ''. So please 2009 be good to me.
well .. from all the 13 goals i've atchived 7 i am so proud after all 7 is a good number !
:)
I threw my hands up
I give up
“Life became unbearable “ she said
And I totally agree !
If there’s more pain to come
I am not really sure if can handle it
I am sick of fighting back
This year .. no promises , dreams or good expectations
I’ll just live with the grain
And let what want to happened happens ..
…
Today I returned to Amy lee’s songs
I don’t know how and why ?
I missed her .. but did she miss me back ?
Where are you Amy .. we need new songs
We need you to scream for us
…
I don’t know why I don’t present good stuff in this
Blog .. it suppose to be a happy place
I just keep crying my letters out
and whining ..
maybe changing the colors would help?
…
University is sucks
This semester I have a huge problem
I am late and because of not taking a stupid
Course .. just one stupid course
Just like any other shit
I am unable to take three courses !
What the F !
I am so mad and angry
Watching my mate graduating .. working
And all the good things !
And I am standing here like damn !
I’ll never let this happen !
This year was so rough .. just like her pervious sisters
Nobody to blame ! .. Nobody
I am sick this love story I am living
Some how now I feel like no need
To txt u or kissing your ass
To feel me .. all those feelings inside tortures me
I had to let them go
…
We’re Brock
Latterly
My father start to take money from me .. again
I don’t know where my old man is going in his plans
I hope he don’t get hurt .. he will never take another fail
Let him take all he want
…
Back to university .. everything’s fucked up
My marks are as low as possible
If I was saved from being under notice
Couple times .. why not now?
I don’t care
I just want to live my life with no fear
On my back disturbing me .. make my shade my tears out
And create fake lovers .. I don’t want this anymore
…
I want to runaway
Through my passport in fire
New name .. new ID
New place ,, new problems
I want to walk near the with my naked feet
And run and run to the edge of the seen
And scream all the pain , the fear and hope
Away .. getting rid from my skin ..
And be an ugly unnoticeable bird
FREE
…
Till another mood comes
Bye
لا ادري هل أنا السبب أم أن الإحراج ضرائب مقدمة ادفعها لخطايا حياة أخرى ؟
الأسبوع المنصرم على سبيل المثال ..
دائما ما أحب الوصل للغرف الدراسية بخطوات عجلى لأنني ادري أنني اذا تأخرت
فأنني امنح فعل التأخر حقه.. و مع الوقت الكثير المتبقي لكي يصل المحاضر
لا غنى لي عن الاستمتاع بوقتي بسماع الأغاني المفضلة لدي
خصوصا أن يداي قد وقعتا أخر اسطوانات فرقة ال(البونك روك) paramore
و عندما يتعلق الأمر بفضلى فرق الروك الأمريكية لابد من أن يأخذ الصوت حقه
All I wanted was you قد يبدو لكم الاسم عاديا لكن هذه الأغنية بالذات لها مفعول السحر –علي على الأقل-
فهي تبعثني من سكوني و تزلزل الأرض من تحتي.. لا استطيع المقاومة
مع مرور الوقت أحسست بالطالبات و هن يدخلن و يخرجن من القاعة الدراسية
و تتعالى أصواتهن و ضحكاتهن.. هل اكترث ,, طبعا لا !
بدء الشباب بالدخول و لاحظت علامات الاستغراب التي سرعان ما بدأت تتحول لتعابير
وجوه على وشك الانفجار ضحكا .. هل اكترث ,, طبعا لا !.. اقترب مني احد الزملاء و أشار لي باز اله السماعات.. ماذا يريد هذا المغفل؟ .. هل يجب أن يأتي المتطفلون ليفسدوا علي جوي الخاص
و عندما أبعدت السماعات عن أذني فإذا بالصوت يتدفق الى أذني و لكن بطريقة مختلفة !
أشحت بنظري الى الموبايل .. إليكم المفاجأة !
قابس السماعات غير موصول بشكل كامل .. نعم لقد شاركني الفصل الدراسي
بجو الروك أند رول .. عندها تحول لون وجهي الى أقصى درجات الاحمرار
و تعالت الضحكات و الصياح من حولي.. أصبحت صغيرا بحجم حبات العنب .. تفاعلا مع الصف أخذت بالضحك معهم مع أن النيران تغلي في معدتي
و منذها لم اعد احضر قبل المحاضرة
فالوصول متأخرا أفضل من الوصول و إقامة الحفلات الصاخبة على مسمع الجميع !
